Mind Power Issue #126

Forgiveness:
The Best Remedy for Healing

Issue #126 – Monday, August 13, 2018

Everyone I know has someone (if not many someones) who they need to forgive.

Not many people come out of their childhoods totally unscathed, no matter how loving or well-intentioned their caretakers were. And just try making it through high school or first love without something going very wrong.

Sooner or later, we get hurt by someone we trust.

In this powerful issue of Mind Power, we address the issue of forgiveness and its immense healing power.

Marc Gilson, director of client services and “wisdom keeper” here at Centerpointe, explores the force of forgiveness when applied to those who hurt you in the past…

...and to yourself. This is very powerful stuff. Please don’t miss it!

Cheers,

MaryEllen Tribby

Centerpointe CEO

P.S. We just launched an amazing, BRAND NEW suite of soundtracks to help you transform your life by tapping into the power of your unconscious mind to create…

...profound experiences of love, compassion, gratitude, and forgiveness.

Find how you can develop these profoundly important fundamentals in the Check It Out section below.


Forgiveness: 
The Best Remedy for Healing

by Marc Gilson Centerpointe Director of Client Services

If anyone ever invites you to play basketball in a gravel driveway, take it from me, decline the offer. I tried this once when I was a kid, many years ago, and ended up taking a fall while missing a layup that left me with scar on my knee I still have today. 

I’ve always found scars kind of interesting. Some people think they’re ugly and maybe some are. But when you stop and think about what a scar is, you might see that it’s a remnant of a healing process. Scars are kind of like badges of experience. Some of them tell a story. Some serve as reminders of life lessons (like don’t play basketball on gravel!).

The body’s ability to heal itself is amazing.

The moment you nick yourself shaving or bang your knee on the coffee table, the body goes into healing mode and begins the repair work. You don’t have to tell the body to do this. It all happens automatically. 

But what about the mind’s ability to heal?

What about wounds of an emotional or psychological nature? It’s hard to imagine growing into adulthood without having suffered some sort of emotional or mental injury. And sometimes those injuries are a lot more severe than grinding gravel into your knee.

Those who suffer emotional abuse or trauma, especially as children, know that those kinds of wounds don’t heal quickly, and sometimes never heal at all. Of course there are less traumatic–yet still painful–examples of such injuries. Perhaps you’ve experienced a breakup with a significant other. Or someone has betrayed you or took advantage of you in some way. Maybe you’ve been lied to or treated unfairly.

Sometimes even seemingly minor infractions by someone we trust can leave us feeling wounded.

When we’ve suffered at the hands of another person, whether they intended to inflict that suffering upon us or not, we can seek healing in many ways. And not all of them are healthy. 

There’s a long list of unhealthy coping mechanisms we might use when trying to stave off the effects of trauma in our lives, including alcohol, drugs, shopping, overeating, sex, undereating, gambling, etc.  

Some people say, “Well just get over that stuff!” Or “Be tough enough and those things won’t bother you so much.” Maybe there’s a truth there somewhere. But if we really want to heal, whether we’ve suffered heavy trauma or minor emotional scrapes…

...forgiveness is almost always the most effective healing medicine.

Now understand clearly, I am not suggesting that it’s easy, or even possible in some cases, to fully forgive an abuser. This is not a question of whether an abusive person deserves forgiveness, and that’s not a topic I would try to tackle in a short article like this one.

But I am saying that forgiveness, whenever and however possible, is an action with lasting, healing effects.

When we truly practice forgiveness (and yes, it takes practice), we begin the process of liberating ourselves from the effects of our past. With forgiveness comes a kind of emancipation from the pain and suffering we’ve endured. And for those on the path toward an awakened, centered life, forgiveness is key.

What if the abuser in our past was not another person (or people)? Perhaps we’ve suffered betrayals and injuries at the hands of, well, ourselves.

You might have a pattern of self-sabotage. For example, you might mishandle relationships with people you love, pushing away the exact people you want to be closer to. You might deny yourself amazing opportunities in favor of staying in your comfort zone, rather than making new friends or trying something different.

It’s been said that the hardest person to forgive is oneself. Maybe it’s because we think we have reasons for everything that we do. Or perhaps we feel we’re somehow “building character” by mistreating ourselves. 

Or worse, down deep inside, we don’t believe we truly deserve to heal, and so we withhold forgiveness. We really can be cruel to ourselves sometimes.

But whether we’ve hurt ourselves or been hurt by someone else (or both), there’s no getting around the fact that forgiveness is the most effective medicine for healing.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we no longer feel pain. Nor does it mean we condone the actions of someone who has carelessly or recklessly wounded us. Forgiveness is not a pass for egregious behavior.

Rather it’s an internal choice to release attachments to the suffering of the past.

It is possible to remember and acknowledge the pain of the past while also setting ourselves free and healing through forgiveness. Perhaps we’ll be left with some scar tissue, but that’s okay. Few people really get through life without a little of that.  

I want to leave you with a comment from a Centerpointe participant, someone who had suffered abuse at the hands of someone they once trusted and came to us for coaching.

The idea of forgiveness being something I do for ME, and not for my abuser never occurred to me until you mentioned it. I’ve worked it into my daily meditation and I spend a few minutes every night forgiving myself and others. It helps me sleep. 

It’s like years ago when I hiked the Pacific Crest Trail and we were hiking all day long with big heavy backpacks. And after awhile you just get used to all that weight on your back. And then when you finally find a place to rest and you let that backpack fall off your back, you suddenly feel light as a feather.

That’s what it’s like when you really forgive. The weight is gone. ~Jeff

Forgiveness requires action and practice. It is an intentional, conscious choice that you make, sometimes over and over and over again.

But you don’t have to wait for “time to heal all wounds.” Try taking off the backpack of your hurt and your resentments, a little at a time, starting right now.

Let me know your thoughts and feelings by replying to this email. I really want to hear your own story.


Wise Words


Tap into the power of your unconscious mind to create deep experiences of love, compassion, gratitude, and forgiveness.

Centerpointe Research Institute announces its brand new Journey to Self Suite…

...with four powerful soundtracks to help you experience profound levels of deep personal fulfillment.

Journey to Self Suite

1. Journey to Love

2. Journey to Forgiveness

3. Journey to Gratitude

4. Journey to Compassion

Note: Journey to Compassion is not for sale at any price. It only comes with the entire suite, as a FREE bonus track. 





This Really Happened

I began to see how I was letting my past dictate my future and that things could and should be different. 

I am also more quick to love and forgive than ever before. I see the connectedness of it all.

Compassion is comfortable. Joy is something I feel and radiate throughout the day, as I am grateful for so many things.

And for all this I am very grateful. Thank you.

​~Dina DelPreto Ridenour 


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