As I write this note, I realize that it’s been six months to the day that we lost our dear friend and founder of Centerpointe, Bill Harris.
How timely, then, to look at our own lives to make sure we are living it to the fullest, as Bill did. As Ryan Moore, Centerpointe Accelerated Results Coach, describes it in the feature story, “No Regrets,” below…
...losses like this are important wake-up calls.
Ryan outlines a series of questions that only YOU can answer. And those answers will point you to a life without regrets.
I hope you’ll take a few minutes to read Ryan’s article. And sharpen your pencil; your answers to these questions will change your life.
P.S. One of the most powerful ways in the world to become aware of unresourceful, self-sabotaging behaviors...
...is Holosync. Learn how in the “Check It Out” section below.
Seriously, this will change your life!
A No-Holds Barred Look at Your Life
by Ryan Moore
Centerpointe Accelerated Results Coach
Life moves fast. It passes in the blink of an eye.
One minute we have plans to accomplish amazing dreams. Then, in the next moment, we find ourselves scrambling just to find an hour to ourselves.
It’s so easy to focus on the next task, the next objective, the next obligation that needs to be completed, right now. And so we grow skilled at fitting more and more into our schedules until it’s finally full.
There’s no more room.
Sooner or later, however, something unexpected happens that is beyond our control...something that puts all those day-to-day activities in perspective. This “something” makes us look differently at the world and our lives. It’s a wake up call and it’s saying…
My wake-up call occurred earlier this year when Centerpointe’s founder, Bill Harris, passed away unexpectedly from cancer. This loss made me take a hard look at my own life, and how I was spending my thoughts, feelings and time.
About this time, I was introduced to an incredibly powerful book, The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying, by Bronnie Ware.
Bronnie worked extensively in palliative care for many years, and cataloged what she learned from talking with hundreds of patients at the end of their lives. Here’s what she learned:
The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish I had let myself be happier.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
So, if we know that these are the top five regrets we are likely to face at the end of our lives, then how can we live fuller, richer lives without such regrets?
As Bill would say: Awareness.
With enough awareness we create choice. If we can build awareness around these areas and understand how they show up in our lives, then we will be better prepared to make decisions in the moment.
A No-Holds-Barred Look at Your Life
So, let’s dive a little deeper by looking at each one of these regrets in detail. Then I’ll give you specific actions you can take to address those regrets. As we move along together, I encourage you to write down your own, specific answers...no holds barred! (You will only get out of this exercise what you put into it!)
1. What keeps you from having the courage to live a life true to yourself?
While I can’t answer this question for you, let me throw out a few possibilities.
Perhaps it’s fear that you’re not good enough or worthy of the life that you desire. Or, it could be that you place more faith in tradition, society, or others to choose what is best for you. Or, maybe you haven’t closely examined what you truly want because it may be very different from those around you, so it’s easier to go with the flow.
There are a ton of possibilities and your reasons will be unique to you.
2. What keeps you from having the courage to express your feelings?
Perhaps it’s fear of judgement from others or a concern that someone might retaliate. Or it could be that your true feelings are going to hurt or disappoint someone else. Or maybe you think that emotions will only get in the way of accomplishing your goals, so you push them aside.
Again, these are just a few possibilities. I highly recommend finding your own answers.
3. What prevents you from staying in touch with your friends?
Perhaps you moved away and it’s no longer easy to get together. It could be that you received a promotion at work that demands more of your time. Or, it might be that you are facing health challenges, and it can be difficult or embarrassing to meet up.
4. What stops you from letting yourself be happier?
Perhaps you say to yourself, you will be happier when you have that new house, new job, or new relationship. Or maybe you are feeling guilty about something from your past. It could it be that you have set unreachable standards for yourself. Or you could be holding onto a grudge or a resentment that belongs in the past, with your forgiveness.
5. What causes you to overwork yourself?
Is it the desire to have new stuff? Perhaps you want a new house, new car, or the latest iPhone. Or are you competing with others for status? Are you overworking yourself to escape from an emotion or situation? Perhaps you are working more hours because you don’t want to deal with a crumbling relationship, or the pressure that comes with talking about long-standing problems.
Again, take a moment to write down your answers to these questions in painstaking detail and with complete honesty.
Your answers to these questions are signposts. These are the landmarks to look for when you are going through your day. They can help alert you to pay special attention in the moment. When you become aware of these signposts…
...the next step is to pay attention to what thoughts and feelings you are having in that moment.
What images are you are seeing? What are the things (true or not true) that you are telling yourself? Are these thoughts resourceful? Are they leading you toward your goals, or further away from them?
At this point, it’s important to note that you need to know what you want. The more deeply you understand what’s important to you, the better choices you will make in each moment.
If you catch yourself in an unresourceful thought, ask yourself if that thought requires immediate action? If yes, then take that action. As Bill Harris said:
“When you choose with awareness, you’ll automatically choose what serves you and drop what doesn’t.”
If the moment doesn’t require action, or action would actually sabotage you in that moment, then use tools like Witnessing or Acceptance to let go of the unresourceful thoughts and emotions.
Use questions like, “How can I let this be okay?” or “How can I be at peace with this, in this moment?” to help.
Once you have let go of the unresourceful thoughts and emotions, you can begin moving towards your goals. Ask yourself: “How can I express my feeling in this situation?” or “What steps can I take today, to live a life more true to myself?”
You don’t have to live, or die, with regrets.
With awareness in these five areas of your life, you can make decisions based on what truly matters most to you. Remember, the more awareness you have…
...the more choice you have to create what you want, and live without regrets.
As an Accelerated Results Coach, Ryan Moore is part of a team of highly-trained Centerpointe coaches who are here to help you, personally, navigate your Holosync journey, as well as the ups and downs of daily life.
You can reach an Accelerated Results Coach at email@example.com, or by calling 503-672-7117 between 9am and 4:30pm Monday-Friday (PST).
I’ve felt all along I ... was caught in some kind of endless loop of repeating dramas I couldn’t escape by myself. I feel now I am in the process of getting rid of the rest of the dramas holding me back from the rest of the experiences I yearn for.
Escaping these consciously unwanted dramas is worth any monetary price. Realizing I have been doing one of these dramas (depression and tears) for about 50 years, taking only a couple of months to get rid of it is quite miraculous.
~Carol O., Vista, California
Holiday Wishes from Centerpointe
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